Winston

We stopped at the Co-op on the way home from our walk and, just as Graham was tying my lead to a pole outside, ( & I have absolutely no idea why he does this), up rumbled Mrs Dearlove on her mobility scooter, with Winston in a naff little basket attached to the handle bar. Mrs. Dearlove is George's very posh old great-aunt who lives at Wyndham Lode, a sort of kennel for old folk further down Church Road, opposite the restaurant. Winston is a pug, or, as he prefers, a Chinee' Pug.
Graham greeted Mrs. Dearlove and she replied "Air hellair...um....yars." (She can never remember his name.)
"Hurro, how you Henly?" said Winston to me. "You see dead squiller the other day?" I told him I had.
" We had big party at home las' nigh' ", he went on. "Everyn Rrewerryn-Jone' turn one hundled year! Imagine! Rovery foo', evelybody singing 'Whi' criffs of Dover', evelybody crapping..good party."
Mrs Dearlove, meanwhile, was asking at the till where she could find night cream. Ahmed directed her to the dairy section and she wandered off towards it, looking a bit puzzled. She came out soon afterwards, climbed back onto her scooter and began a complicated ten point turnaround manoevre during which she crashed twice into the Co-op's window. A hairline crack appeared. "Whatch ou' ol' rady!" said Winston crossly.

Here are some things which are definitely not worth eating:
1. Toothpaste
2. Brussels sprouts
3. (Some) plastics
4. Snails......(Strangely, these are eaten by humans. Why? They're v disgusting and why, if they are going to eat something like this, don't they eat slugs? (It would be a lot easier)).