Liza Vinelli

It was Graham's turn to feed us. He's much stricter than George. Insists that Clarice must finish what's in her bowl before he'll give her more. (Naturally, the question doesn't even arise as far as my bowl is concerned.)
"Uh-uh", he says. "Oh no. - I can still see plenty of food in there."
"Wha-a-a-t?" says Clarice. " These bits? I can't eat these bits. The jelly's all been licked off."
"Eat it." says Graham.
Clarice stalks off to sulk and, usually, George comes and secretly empties the leftovers into the dustbin, (though I'd be only too happy to eat them). The next time Graham comes into the kitchen, there's Clarice sitting very reproachfully by her bowl. Graham gets a pouch of catfood out of the box.
"Now", he says, " it's this or nothing. They no longer give us the option to only buy your favourite flavours. We have to buy these variety packs and this is the only flavour left. So, like it or lump it."
He reads from the pouch, which has gone all Euro:
"Rabbit/Lapin/Kaninchen/Konijn/Riistaa/Vilt/Conejo. This is Clarice's second least favourite. The one she really detests is Beef/Boeuf/Rind/Rund/Naudanlihaa/Oxkott/Oksekd/Buey.
"Whoever heard of a cat eating a cow?" she says.

On our early walk to get the newspapers and some milk at the Co-op, we walked past Fabulous the hairdresser's, and Dennis, Liza Vinelli's owner, was out in front having a cig before opening time. Liza Vinelli was sitting on the doorstep. She's a Japanese Bobtail cat which means she's got a tail a bit like a rabbit........(!) She was born like that. It wasn't chopped off..(I say this, because there's a truly terrible urban myth about puppies having their tails chopped off in the olden days (!...?...!) This is too horrible to even contemplate.)
Liza Vinelli is quite friendly, but also quite strange. Today she wanted me to hear two haikus she's composed: -
I stare at a leaf
Suddenly it comes to life,
A green butterfly.

And, the much more bloodthirsty:

A Blackbird hops past
Ignores me, though I am there.
Crunch! Arrogant bird.